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My friends tell me I seem happier. That makes me e

My friends tell me I seem happier. That makes me even happier. Anxiety-free for a few weeks now! 🙏🏼

📷: @irrodcas

Learning to be present and let go. I need to stop

Learning to be present and let go. I need to stop looking for the fastest train. I’ll be waiting for the one that’ll take me to the right destination and through a beautiful journey. Noticing real changes in my life. 🙏🏼

📷: @noemi_lb00

[ 🇬🇧”Once More”➡️ 🇪🇸”Una Vez

[ 🇬🇧”Once More”➡️ 🇪🇸”Una Vez Más” ] The worst part of my 2020 was my grandpa’s departure because of covid. I had just landed from London when my mom told me he was in the hospital. Doctors made an exception and allowed my father, aunt, cousin and me in the room before it was too late. I said everything I wanted to say to him. He said he had been waiting for me.

The next day, we were called in again, this time it was serious. I ran to grandma’s to record a message from her for him. When we arrived it was too late.

There was no ceremony, we were all quaranteening. My father had to self-isolate in a room for a month, he got a very bad cough. I had to isolate for 14 days in Spain and 14 days in London (alone). That’s the time when my anxiety manifested in ways that were too obvious to ignore.

What still gets me in tears is how they couldn’t say goodbye to each other (due to the protocols). They were married for more than 60 years. My grandma had to go through all of this alone in a place she never knew empty. All we could do was call because she was infected. No hugs, no video calls, nothing.

They used to play Spanish card games everyday. It was all they did. He was an amazing player. Of course they taught all of us how to play, a present nobody will ever take from us. Something I’ll pass on to my kids some day.

He was a simple man. He worked hard. He hated having the same boss for too long. He taught all of us everything he knew. He was honest and authentic. He had a beautiful smile. He loved his family.

When I get lost and #anxious for the future, I try

When I get lost and #anxious for the future, I try to look back. It calms me down. It always surprises me how far I’ve gone, how much I’ve learned and evolved. It’s so easy to get angry at what we don’t have or haven’t achieved yet. Acknowledging #growth is such a #healer .

📷: @irrodcas

Following up on my last post, I’m thankful I fou

Following up on my last post, I’m thankful I found the root of my anxiety. I have a huge problem with acceptance. I’m a perfectionist and, even though society sees it as a positive thing and is often used as a “fake” weakness in job interviews, it is an obsession just like any other. Unhealthy and dangerous.

I realised all of this stems from a deep belief that I’m not enough, insecurities and fear.

I need to learn to love stuff as is, accept the imperfections and, above all, accept myself. Being aware already helped a lot!

We need to stop changing the world and start changing ourselves! The world will change as a consequence.

Hoping this will resonate with some of you and maybe help you.

📷: @noemi_lb00

I just thought it might help someone if I was open

I just thought it might help someone if I was open about this: I’ve been seriously struggling with an anxiety disorder which started developing in April-May last year. Might talk more about it in the next posts...

I wanted to say it is okay if you struggle too. Our minds need to be taken care of and can fall sick just like any other muscle. I hate taboos. We need to share this stuff to make it normal.

I’m doing better compared to last October, but it’ll take some time. Only recently I was able to reduce the intensity of my days (because I had to take my laptop to the repair service lol) and it is doing me well.

Trying to focus on those moments that bring me joy, working to refind my essence.

I definitely know my purpose.

📷: @noemi_lb00

They may think I’m crazy, cause my future looks

They may think I’m crazy, cause my future looks to hazy, but don’t underestimate me: what I want I take it. 😉

OUT NOW! Link in bio 🎶

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I ca

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. - Jimmy Dean

📷: @irrodcas

They may think I’m crazy, but I couldn’t care

They may think I’m crazy, but I couldn’t care less baby! 😉

“I’m Crazy” is out already!! 🥳

Yes, I had a couple of shoots recently (high time)

Yes, I had a couple of shoots recently (high time) and Imma be sharing the pics, so I hope you enjoy penetrating looks 😌 thanks @noemi_lb00 for this one 😍

Never stop looking up ✨ 📸: @irrodcas

Never stop looking up ✨

📸: @irrodcas

A piano version wasn’t enough, so today I releas

A piano version wasn’t enough, so today I released an acoustic guitar / drums / bass version of my recent nostalgic song We Could’ve Had It All!! You’ll find an EP with all three versions on it 🎈🎈 Hoping you’ll enjoy it 🥰

Here’s my holidays gift for you!! I just release

Here’s my holidays gift for you!! I just released a piano version of my latest single We Could’ve Had It All ♥️ Let me know whether you enjoyed it in the DMs! 😘

We Could’ve Had It All is available now on your

We Could’ve Had It All is available now on your fav streaming platform!! I hope you’ll love it as much as I do ♥️

This is pretty mindblowing. Swipe to see where I w

This is pretty mindblowing. Swipe to see where I was just a year ago. Huge thanks to you all for being there and supporting me in such an early stage of my career... I love you ♥️

It feels so good to wear my own meeeerch 🙈 (I m

It feels so good to wear my own meeeerch 🙈 (I mean, with this sweatshirt, it actually feels like rubbing a kitty on your skin coz it’s so smooth and fluffy inside lol)
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Designed with @mishartwork

We could’ve kissed goodbye... -6 days

We could’ve kissed goodbye...

-6 days

So excited to see my merch come to life!!! 😱😍 To you all deals seekers, I’m offering 20% DISCOUNT at my store when you enter the code “blackfriJAY” (until Monday)!!

Designed with @mishartwork
Photos by @marc_sm and @lidiavivesvidal

We Could’ve Met Before 💔 - 04.12.2020

We Could’ve Met Before 💔 - 04.12.2020

Our youth carried us away And the truth is I just

Our youth carried us away
And the truth is I just can’t forget...
What we unsaid.

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